Bienvenidos a esta dementor party Tomen el lugar que más les guste, acomódense y tal vez mejor no piensen cosas bonitas Recuerden aquí las varitas no son permitidas De no ser así se podría tomar como una amenaza (Cuidado están cerca los dementores se acercan Ya llegan los reyes de la fiesta) Trabajo en la prisión de azkaban mis talentos ahí sí que servirán Aunque mi físico se vea aburrido Para mi sus sentimientos son lo más lindo Si quieres ser mi amigo ven que yo te cuido, Solo no uses tu varita El patronus es mi enemigo Jamás estarás solo, siempre estaré contigo Jamás estarás solo, ven a ser mi amigo Ven acércate, ven y besame Hey, la estamos pasando al cien (Ven a vacilar, vamos a gozar, a comer de más, y molly echar) Esta química nos hace bien (Ven a disfrutar y vamos a bailar en esta demental-party) Mis besos te van a enloquecer (Ven a disfrutar y a carton tomar, nos shots y ya, el tequila esta) Disfrutemos hasta el amanecer (Hasta abajo todos vamos a perrear en esta dementor-party) Ven a vacilar, vamos a gozar A comer de más, y molly echar Ven a disfrutar y vamos a bailar En esta demental-party Ven a disfrutar y a carton tomar Unos shots y ya, El tequila esta, Hasta abajo todos vamos a perrear En esta dementor-party … Ya que estas aquí ven a ser feliz Hey relájate y échate unos drinks Dementor: Hey acércate y dame un besito, ¿no? Nanz: ¿Qué? Dementor: Bueno, era una pregunta recuerden que el consentimiento es muy importante… Nanz: Claro… Dementor: Ya, ya, mejor seguimos de party? Nanz: De party? Esta es una… party? Parece más un festín para ustedes. Dementor: Bueno depende mucho del vaso con el que se mira… Ven a vacilar, vamos a gozar A comer de más, y molly echar Ven a disfrutar y vamos a bailar En esta demental-party Ven a disfrutar y a carton tomar Unos shots y ya, El tequila esta, Hasta abajo todos vamos a perrear En esta dementor-party Boom pas, dame más Quiero tu felicidad Boom pas, quiero más Tus recuerdos ya se van Boom pas, dame más Quiero otro besito ya Boom pas, quiero más Tus recuerdos ya se van ******* Welcome to the dementor party Take the place that you like the most, settle down and perhaps it’s better avoid thinking nice things Remember here wands are not allowed Otherwise it could be taken as a threat (Beware they are close. The dementors are approaching The kings of the party are here) I work in the azkaban prison, my talents are useful there Even though my physique looks boring For me your feelings are the most beautiful part of you If you want to be my friend, come and I'll take care of you, Just don't use your wand The patronus is my enemy You will never be alone, I will always be with you You will never be alone, come be my friend Come closer, come and kiss me Hey, we're having a good time (Come to shake, let's enjoy, to eat more, and to smoke molly) This chemistry does us good (Come enjoy and let's dance in this demental-party) My kisses will drive you crazy (Come to enjoy and drink some beers, we’ll have some shots and that's it, the tequila is here) Let's enjoy until dawn (All the way down we are going to dance in this dementor-party) Come and shake, let's enjoy Eat more, and smoke molly Come and enjoy and let's dance In this demental-party Come and enjoy and take some beers A few shots and that's it The tequila is here Down to the bottom we're all going to dance In this dementor-party … Since you are here come be happy Hey relax and have some drinks Dementor: Hey come over and give me a little kiss, huh? Nanz: what? Dementor: Well, it was a question, remember that consent is very important... Nanz: Sure... Dementor: Okay, okay, we better continue to party? Nanz: To party? This is a… party? It seems more like a feast for you. Dementor: Well it depends a lot on the glass with which you look... Come to shake, let's enjoy To eat more, and smoking molly Come and enjoy and let's dance In this demental-party Come and enjoy and take some beers A few shots and that's it The tequila is here Down to the bottom we're all going to dance In this dementor-party Boom pas, give me more I want your happiness boom pass I want more your memories are gone Boom pas, give me more I want another kiss now boom pas I want more your memories are gone

The Peeves Tax! The Peeves Tax! You gotta pay the Peeves Tax Any time you’re sneaking When you’re out too late Mrs. Norris comes creeping Filch knows zilch But he follows the cat! If you’re hoping I’ll distract ‘em You gotta pay the Tax! The Peeves Tax! The Peeves Tax! Spread a little chaos, Or I might just tattle I”ll blame you for graffiti And annoy you with my prattle. I don’t really care (who takes the) Blame for my acts. If you wanna win the House Cup, You gotta pay the tax! The Peeves Tax! The Peeves Tax! The Peeves Tax! I’m mocking old McGonagall And interrupting Binns No loyalty to anyone Except the Weasley twins. So make a little mischief and disorder while you’re here. If the Baron tries to Karen then I’m gonna disappear! The Peeves Tax! x 6

10am begins the start Of yet another day I wake up, shower, then get dressed And start making my way Down to class in Potions We sit down in our chairs Professor gives instructions And we can’t help but stare “What the fuck this potion do?” We whisper to our friends “Yo, Professor Slughorn’s nuts,” “When does this class end? We gather some ingredients Add them to the cauldron Halfway through the class the headmaster Just fuckin’ walks in He and Slughorn chat a bit ‘Bout what? I couldn’t say Then the headmaster just nods And walks the fuck away Everybody’s sweatin’ Workin’ at their desk None of us have any clue What could happen next It seems like we’ve been here for hours The clock don’t make no sense I swear this potion turns back time But I need evidence “Hey, what time you got?” I ask My best friend turns around They answer me but I can’t hear ‘em Not a fucking sound I shake my head to clear my ears And ask them once again But strangely they have disappeared The clock is back to ten “What in the fresh hells is this?” I whisper to myself I stand to shake the nerves off And walk toward the shelf Where I pick some pickled eyes A tail of a red lizard Shifty eyes lookin’ my way I ain’t no bitch-ass wizard I throw the stuff into my pot And watch the bubbles grow The clock still hasn’t moved at all I wish that we could go “What the fuck this potion do?” It turns back fucking time! I don’t have the patience But also I don’t whine I wonder if my fellow classmates Think the same thing too I gather up my courage Raise my hand to ask a Q When I’m finally called on, My alarm goes off I wake up, stretch, and take a breath Sigh and yawn and cough And then it’s off to Potions class To sit down in our chairs Professor gives instructions And we can’t help but stare “What the fuck this potion do?” We whisper to our friends “Yo, Professor Slughorn’s nuts,” “When does this class end? etc.

Welcome, stranger! Come inside Where greed is something we can't abide If you don't earn but choose to take That would be a BIG mistake If you go beneath our floors And take things that were never yours Forevermore you'll be a thief And so your soul is ours to keep!

That's the drummer's motto But he was wrong This allows you to play together This is all No troublesome question No filler This is not a change of peace Like to have it And I turned into a prejudiced boxer Should I take him to the zoo? This is not what I want And I turned into a prejudiced boxer That's the drummer's motto But now he needs a wall This will be the limit on the drooling At least when he was on stage No troublesome question No filler Trees don't just fall Like to have it And I turned into a prejudiced boxer Should I take him to the zoo? This is not what I want And I turned into a prejudiced boxer He cannot play the drums And he jumped up and down He is the pet store you are looking for Somewhere in this lost and lost city

You’re JOKING!” said Fred Weasley loudly. The tension that had filled the Hall ever since Moody’s arrival suddenly broke. Nearly everyone laughed, and Dumbledore chuckled appreciatively. “I am not joking, Mr. Weasley,” he said, “though now that you mention it, I did hear an excellent one over the summer about a troll, a hag, and a leprechaun who all go into a bar...” A troll, a hag, and a leprechaun all go into a bar. There was a bad smell, or maybe two, we couldn’t tell them apart. The troll smelled of rot, The hag smelled like trash, The leprechaun at its height realized it was a fart.

DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT I noticed when you walked into Biology Your choice good for the environment and good for me I could smell that girl’s a regular menstruator And hell yeah I absolutely have to date her Oh, Bella, it’s your time of the month And you got me sippy sipping from your Diva Cup Girl, I’m so blessed when you offer it up Just a little sippy sippy from your Diva Cup I don’t even need to peek into Rosalie’s head To hear her shriek, “Um, Edward, why are your eyes red?!” Oh, Bella, Bella, when it’s your time of the month You got me sippy sippy sipping from your Diva Cup I just can’t believe my luck That you let me sippy sippy from your Diva Cup Bella, I can’t wait for your time of the month When you give me little sippy from your Diva Cup I put my pinky up When I have a sippy sippy from your Diva Cup

DAWLISH I’m gonna shit in Joe Manchin’s mouth Won’t do it for the North; I do it for the South There are worse senators, but he’s really got my goat That’s why Aberforth is helping me by shitting down his throat! Joe Manchin thinks that coal and turds are super yummy So the real Santa Clause will drop a sackful in his tummy Forget Tim Allen - it’s APWBD Came back from King’s Cross just to help Joe and me At my coming out party, man it’s gonna be thrilling I’m the non-binary secret Dumbledore sibling! DAWLISH, ABERFORTH, AND ALBUS (WITH BACKUP FROM ARCHIE) It’s a family affair, it’s a family affair When we shit in Joe Manchin it’s a family affair Like Slughorn’s overstuffed chair But filled with more than just air When we shit in Joe Manchin it’s a family affair It’s a family affair, it’s a family affair When we shit in Joe Manchin it’s a family affair We funk without a future, drop dung without a care When we shit in Joe Manchin it’s a family affair ARIANA H E B E Paint won’t fade Like my memory First it’s drip drip drip Then a splat splat splat Go the sin sin sins Of your past past past You could have fought my siblings off, but now there’s no controllin: Ariana Dumbledore is gonna haunt your colon! Fuck Aurelius, I’m the primo SDS Secret Dumbledore Sibling if you couldn’t fucking guess Why’d he come back to life? It’s a damn shame When your characterization is also your last name Fuck the yankees, racist too but just keep it quiet Let the right devour the world with just a couple riots Gonna tank the rising tides more than your own constituents Though equally deserving of little to no deliverance Belligerence will get you far in politics, it’s true But you’ll get even farther with appendix full of poo ARCHIE/ARIANA Dragon’s blood? Another dozen! But now back To Manchin’s munchin’! SOMEONE WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE JOE MANCHIN, IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO TELL *delighted munching sounds* DAWLISH He kindly spreads his legs so everyone can see His anus dentata and it’s ready to feed Just sucking up poops like reverse laying eggs ARIANA He loves it more than Ted Cruz loves his own piss-covered legs! ARCHIE *Allegedly ARIANA Thank you Archie ARCHIE Don’t mention it Please BONUS SONG Almost heaven, shittin’ in Joe Manchin He really enjoys having dung in all his innards Poop in his bladder But don’t worry at all Unlike you and me Joe Manchin stores pee in his balls Joe Manchin! Loves to eat poo This isn’t libel I tell ya true It could be slander If not for me Saying Joe Manchin loves eating shit… (Allegedly)

Moody was a famous Auror, But it ended in a farce. Stuck a wand into his pocket, And Moody blasted off his own arse. CHORUS He lost a buttock and it left him, To reunite it wasn’t inclined. The buttock: it found adventure, And Alastor was left behind. He tracked it out to San Francisco, And trailed it down to Half-Moon Bay, But it became a pirate booty – It jumped a ship and sailed away. CHORUS He followed it to New York City Where it starred a one-buttock show. Performances were standing-room only, And it sold out 54 Below. CHORUS He found that smart ass went to grad school Where it published a review on trends In the An(n)als of Statistics On how the means justify the ends. CHORUS He gave up when it wrote a memoir It called “Le derrière perdu,” “A semi-callipygian scorcher, and quite a cracking read, too!” CHORUS And now you know how Moody’s buttock Escaped its unassuming start. The Healers helped him grow a new one, But the buttock helped him find his heart. You lose a buttock? Think of Moody, Consider this before you seek: The buttock if it’s thriving Maybe turn the other cheek. (x4)

Shnibbly shnibbly shnoo, which harry potter are you? (spoken intro) When it comes to magical creatures You know we are the best We may not have broomsticks or wings But we can fly better than all the rest Oh well we live In the Weasley’s garden You know it is really our home And you know we Are the most awesome Because we are The lovely gnomes, gnomes, gnomes, gnomes, gnomesgnomesgnomesgnomesgnomes Don’t you hurry Don’t don’t you scurry When the Weasleys come come to throw Because you know You will be flyin’ (and fryin’!) Over the the trees To the hills belooowwwwww I don’t like tutus!!! Don’t put me on the treeeee! Those are my carrots! Give ‘em back to me! You Weasleys suck! And you don’t know me! If you don’t let me down now I’m going to screeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmm [extremely wacky & silly scatting/gibberish] Tiptoe through the garden Stay away from the Whomping Willow tree And tiptoe through the tulips with meeee Oh Weasleys, Don’t de-gnome me If you see me, won’t you pardon me? And tiptoe through the tulips— Oy! Hey! Lemme go! I was in the middle of my song! GEROFF ME!!! GEROFF ME!!! [being thrown] Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!! Wow, Harry! That must have been 50 feet! Ow, they bit me! I FEEL THE URGE TO DECLAIM IN MERMISH [cue unholy screeching] This song is brought to you by Nermal’s Gnome-Away. Buy Nermal’s Gnome-Away for all your de-gnoming gneeds. And if you listened all the way to the end of this track, go fuck yourself. Unless you’re ace. In which case, just read a book you don’t like or something, I don’t care.