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Candle Wix – Gernumbli Gardensi

from How Weird Can You Get? by Bisexual Harry

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lyrics

Shnibbly shnibbly shnoo, which harry potter are you? (spoken intro)

When it comes to magical creatures
You know we are the best
We may not have broomsticks or wings
But we can fly better than all the rest

Oh well we live
In the Weasley’s garden
You know it is really our home
And you know we
Are the most awesome
Because we are
The lovely gnomes, gnomes, gnomes, gnomes, gnomesgnomesgnomesgnomesgnomes

Don’t you hurry
Don’t don’t you scurry
When the Weasleys come come to throw
Because you know
You will be flyin’ (and fryin’!)
Over the the trees
To the hills belooowwwwww


I don’t like tutus!!!
Don’t put me on the treeeee!
Those are my carrots!
Give ‘em back to me!
You Weasleys suck!
And you don’t know me!
If you don’t let me down now
I’m going to screeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmm
[extremely wacky & silly scatting/gibberish]


Tiptoe through the garden
Stay away from the Whomping Willow tree
And tiptoe through the tulips with meeee

Oh Weasleys,
Don’t de-gnome me
If you see me, won’t you pardon me?
And tiptoe through the tulips—
Oy! Hey! Lemme go! I was in the middle of my song!
GEROFF ME!!! GEROFF ME!!!

[being thrown] Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

Wow, Harry! That must have been 50 feet!

Ow, they bit me! I FEEL THE URGE TO DECLAIM IN MERMISH

[cue unholy screeching]


This song is brought to you by Nermal’s Gnome-Away. Buy Nermal’s Gnome-Away for all your de-gnoming gneeds. And if you listened all the way to the end of this track, go fuck yourself. Unless you’re ace. In which case, just read a book you don’t like or something, I don’t care.

credits

from How Weird Can You Get?, released April 2, 2023

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Bisexual Harry Milwaukee, Wisconsin

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