1. |
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2. |
NEWTS – Plot Holes
01:58
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3. |
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Bienvenidos a esta dementor party
Tomen el lugar que más les guste, acomódense y tal vez mejor no piensen cosas bonitas
Recuerden aquí las varitas no son permitidas
De no ser así se podría tomar como una amenaza
(Cuidado están cerca los dementores se acercan
Ya llegan los reyes de la fiesta)
Trabajo en la prisión de azkaban mis talentos ahí sí que servirán
Aunque mi físico se vea aburrido
Para mi sus sentimientos son lo más lindo
Si quieres ser mi amigo ven que yo te cuido,
Solo no uses tu varita
El patronus es mi enemigo
Jamás estarás solo, siempre estaré contigo
Jamás estarás solo, ven a ser mi amigo
Ven acércate, ven y besame
Hey, la estamos pasando al cien
(Ven a vacilar, vamos a gozar, a comer de más, y molly echar)
Esta química nos hace bien
(Ven a disfrutar y vamos a bailar en esta demental-party)
Mis besos te van a enloquecer
(Ven a disfrutar y a carton tomar, nos shots y ya, el tequila esta)
Disfrutemos hasta el amanecer
(Hasta abajo todos vamos a perrear en esta dementor-party)
Ven a vacilar, vamos a gozar
A comer de más, y molly echar
Ven a disfrutar y vamos a bailar
En esta demental-party
Ven a disfrutar y a carton tomar
Unos shots y ya,
El tequila esta,
Hasta abajo todos vamos a perrear
En esta dementor-party
…
Ya que estas aquí ven a ser feliz
Hey relájate y échate unos drinks
Dementor: Hey acércate y dame un besito, ¿no?
Nanz: ¿Qué?
Dementor: Bueno, era una pregunta recuerden que el consentimiento es muy importante…
Nanz: Claro…
Dementor: Ya, ya, mejor seguimos de party?
Nanz: De party? Esta es una… party? Parece más un festín para ustedes.
Dementor: Bueno depende mucho del vaso con el que se mira…
Ven a vacilar, vamos a gozar
A comer de más, y molly echar
Ven a disfrutar y vamos a bailar
En esta demental-party
Ven a disfrutar y a carton tomar
Unos shots y ya,
El tequila esta,
Hasta abajo todos vamos a perrear
En esta dementor-party
Boom pas, dame más
Quiero tu felicidad
Boom pas, quiero más
Tus recuerdos ya se van
Boom pas, dame más
Quiero otro besito ya
Boom pas, quiero más
Tus recuerdos ya se van
*******
Welcome to the dementor party
Take the place that you like the most, settle down and perhaps it’s better avoid thinking nice things
Remember here wands are not allowed
Otherwise it could be taken as a threat
(Beware they are close. The dementors are approaching
The kings of the party are here)
I work in the azkaban prison, my talents are useful there
Even though my physique looks boring
For me your feelings are the most beautiful part of you
If you want to be my friend, come and I'll take care of you,
Just don't use your wand
The patronus is my enemy
You will never be alone, I will always be with you
You will never be alone, come be my friend
Come closer, come and kiss me
Hey, we're having a good time
(Come to shake, let's enjoy, to eat more, and to smoke molly)
This chemistry does us good
(Come enjoy and let's dance in this demental-party)
My kisses will drive you crazy
(Come to enjoy and drink some beers, we’ll have some shots and that's it, the tequila is here)
Let's enjoy until dawn
(All the way down we are going to dance in this dementor-party)
Come and shake, let's enjoy
Eat more, and smoke molly
Come and enjoy and let's dance
In this demental-party
Come and enjoy and take some beers
A few shots and that's it
The tequila is here
Down to the bottom we're all going to dance
In this dementor-party
…
Since you are here come be happy
Hey relax and have some drinks
Dementor: Hey come over and give me a little kiss, huh?
Nanz: what?
Dementor: Well, it was a question, remember that consent is very important...
Nanz: Sure...
Dementor: Okay, okay, we better continue to party?
Nanz: To party? This is a… party? It seems more like a feast for you.
Dementor: Well it depends a lot on the glass with which you look...
Come to shake, let's enjoy
To eat more, and smoking molly
Come and enjoy and let's dance
In this demental-party
Come and enjoy and take some beers
A few shots and that's it
The tequila is here
Down to the bottom we're all going to dance
In this dementor-party
Boom pas, give me more
I want your happiness
boom pass I want more
your memories are gone
Boom pas, give me more
I want another kiss now
boom pas I want more
your memories are gone
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4. |
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The Peeves Tax! The Peeves Tax!
You gotta pay the Peeves Tax
Any time you’re sneaking
When you’re out too late
Mrs. Norris comes creeping
Filch knows zilch
But he follows the cat!
If you’re hoping I’ll distract ‘em
You gotta pay the Tax!
The Peeves Tax! The Peeves Tax!
Spread a little chaos,
Or I might just tattle
I”ll blame you for graffiti
And annoy you with my prattle.
I don’t really care (who takes the)
Blame for my acts.
If you wanna win the House Cup,
You gotta pay the tax!
The Peeves Tax! The Peeves Tax! The Peeves Tax!
I’m mocking old McGonagall
And interrupting Binns
No loyalty to anyone
Except the Weasley twins.
So make a little mischief and disorder while you’re here.
If the Baron tries to Karen then I’m gonna disappear!
The Peeves Tax! x 6
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5. |
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10am begins the start
Of yet another day
I wake up, shower, then get dressed
And start making my way
Down to class in Potions
We sit down in our chairs
Professor gives instructions
And we can’t help but stare
“What the fuck this potion do?”
We whisper to our friends
“Yo, Professor Slughorn’s nuts,”
“When does this class end?
We gather some ingredients
Add them to the cauldron
Halfway through the class the headmaster
Just fuckin’ walks in
He and Slughorn chat a bit
‘Bout what? I couldn’t say
Then the headmaster just nods
And walks the fuck away
Everybody’s sweatin’
Workin’ at their desk
None of us have any clue
What could happen next
It seems like we’ve been here for hours
The clock don’t make no sense
I swear this potion turns back time
But I need evidence
“Hey, what time you got?” I ask
My best friend turns around
They answer me but I can’t hear ‘em
Not a fucking sound
I shake my head to clear my ears
And ask them once again
But strangely they have disappeared
The clock is back to ten
“What in the fresh hells is this?”
I whisper to myself
I stand to shake the nerves off
And walk toward the shelf
Where I pick some pickled eyes
A tail of a red lizard
Shifty eyes lookin’ my way
I ain’t no bitch-ass wizard
I throw the stuff into my pot
And watch the bubbles grow
The clock still hasn’t moved at all
I wish that we could go
“What the fuck this potion do?”
It turns back fucking time!
I don’t have the patience
But also I don’t whine
I wonder if my fellow classmates
Think the same thing too
I gather up my courage
Raise my hand to ask a Q
When I’m finally called on,
My alarm goes off
I wake up, stretch, and take a breath
Sigh and yawn and cough
And then it’s off to Potions class
To sit down in our chairs
Professor gives instructions
And we can’t help but stare
“What the fuck this potion do?”
We whisper to our friends
“Yo, Professor Slughorn’s nuts,”
“When does this class end?
etc.
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6. |
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Welcome, stranger! Come inside
Where greed is something we can't abide
If you don't earn but choose to take
That would be a BIG mistake
If you go beneath our floors
And take things that were never yours
Forevermore you'll be a thief
And so your soul is ours to keep!
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7. |
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That's the drummer's motto
But he was wrong
This allows you to play together
This is all
No troublesome question
No filler
This is not a change of peace
Like to have it
And I turned into a prejudiced boxer
Should I take him to the zoo?
This is not what I want
And I turned into a prejudiced boxer
That's the drummer's motto
But now he needs a wall
This will be the limit on the drooling
At least when he was on stage
No troublesome question
No filler
Trees don't just fall
Like to have it
And I turned into a prejudiced boxer
Should I take him to the zoo?
This is not what I want
And I turned into a prejudiced boxer
He cannot play the drums
And he jumped up and down
He is the pet store you are looking for
Somewhere in this lost and lost city
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8. |
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9. |
MGNGL – SHRBT LMN
03:01
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10. |
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You’re JOKING!” said Fred Weasley loudly.
The tension that had filled the Hall ever since Moody’s arrival suddenly broke. Nearly everyone laughed, and Dumbledore chuckled appreciatively.
“I am not joking, Mr. Weasley,” he said, “though now that you mention it, I did hear an excellent one over the summer about a troll, a hag, and a leprechaun who all go into a bar...”
A troll, a hag, and a leprechaun all go into a bar.
There was a bad smell, or maybe two, we couldn’t tell them apart.
The troll smelled of rot,
The hag smelled like trash,
The leprechaun at its height realized it was a fart.
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11. |
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DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT
I noticed when you walked into Biology
Your choice good for the environment and good for me
I could smell that girl’s a regular menstruator
And hell yeah I absolutely have to date her
Oh, Bella, it’s your time of the month
And you got me sippy sipping from your Diva Cup
Girl, I’m so blessed when you offer it up
Just a little sippy sippy from your Diva Cup
I don’t even need to peek into Rosalie’s head
To hear her shriek, “Um, Edward, why are your eyes red?!”
Oh, Bella, Bella, when it’s your time of the month
You got me sippy sippy sipping from your Diva Cup
I just can’t believe my luck
That you let me sippy sippy from your Diva Cup
Bella, I can’t wait for your time of the month
When you give me little sippy from your Diva Cup
I put my pinky up
When I have a sippy sippy from your Diva Cup
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12. |
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DAWLISH
I’m gonna shit in Joe Manchin’s mouth
Won’t do it for the North; I do it for the South
There are worse senators, but he’s really got my goat
That’s why Aberforth is helping me by shitting down his throat!
Joe Manchin thinks that coal and turds are super yummy
So the real Santa Clause will drop a sackful in his tummy
Forget Tim Allen - it’s APWBD
Came back from King’s Cross just to help Joe and me
At my coming out party, man it’s gonna be thrilling
I’m the non-binary secret Dumbledore sibling!
DAWLISH, ABERFORTH, AND ALBUS (WITH BACKUP FROM ARCHIE)
It’s a family affair, it’s a family affair
When we shit in Joe Manchin it’s a family affair
Like Slughorn’s overstuffed chair
But filled with more than just air
When we shit in Joe Manchin it’s a family affair
It’s a family affair, it’s a family affair
When we shit in Joe Manchin it’s a family affair
We funk without a future, drop dung without a care
When we shit in Joe Manchin it’s a family affair
ARIANA
H
E
B
E
Paint won’t fade
Like my memory
First it’s drip drip drip
Then a splat splat splat
Go the sin sin sins
Of your past past past
You could have fought my siblings off, but now there’s no controllin:
Ariana Dumbledore is gonna haunt your colon!
Fuck Aurelius, I’m the primo SDS
Secret Dumbledore Sibling if you couldn’t fucking guess
Why’d he come back to life? It’s a damn shame
When your characterization is also your last name
Fuck the yankees, racist too but just keep it quiet
Let the right devour the world with just a couple riots
Gonna tank the rising tides more than your own constituents
Though equally deserving of little to no deliverance
Belligerence will get you far in politics, it’s true
But you’ll get even farther with appendix full of poo
ARCHIE/ARIANA
Dragon’s blood?
Another dozen!
But now back
To Manchin’s munchin’!
SOMEONE WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE JOE MANCHIN, IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO TELL
*delighted munching sounds*
DAWLISH
He kindly spreads his legs so everyone can see
His anus dentata and it’s ready to feed
Just sucking up poops like reverse laying eggs
ARIANA
He loves it more than Ted Cruz loves his own piss-covered legs!
ARCHIE
*Allegedly
ARIANA
Thank you Archie
ARCHIE
Don’t mention it
Please
BONUS SONG
Almost heaven, shittin’ in Joe Manchin
He really enjoys having dung in all his innards
Poop in his bladder
But don’t worry at all
Unlike you and me Joe Manchin stores pee in his balls
Joe Manchin! Loves to eat poo
This isn’t libel
I tell ya true
It could be slander
If not for me
Saying Joe Manchin loves eating shit…
(Allegedly)
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13. |
ERWA – The Lost Buttock
03:51
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Moody was a famous Auror,
But it ended in a farce.
Stuck a wand into his pocket,
And Moody blasted off his own arse.
CHORUS
He lost a buttock and it left him,
To reunite it wasn’t inclined.
The buttock: it found adventure,
And Alastor was left behind.
He tracked it out to San Francisco,
And trailed it down to Half-Moon Bay,
But it became a pirate booty –
It jumped a ship and sailed away.
CHORUS
He followed it to New York City
Where it starred a one-buttock show.
Performances were standing-room only,
And it sold out 54 Below.
CHORUS
He found that smart ass went to grad school
Where it published a review on trends
In the An(n)als of Statistics
On how the means justify the ends.
CHORUS
He gave up when it wrote a memoir
It called “Le derrière perdu,”
“A semi-callipygian scorcher,
and quite a cracking read, too!”
CHORUS
And now you know how Moody’s buttock
Escaped its unassuming start.
The Healers helped him grow a new one,
But the buttock helped him find his heart.
You lose a buttock? Think of Moody,
Consider this before you seek:
The buttock if it’s thriving
Maybe turn the other cheek. (x4)
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14. |
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Shnibbly shnibbly shnoo, which harry potter are you? (spoken intro)
When it comes to magical creatures
You know we are the best
We may not have broomsticks or wings
But we can fly better than all the rest
Oh well we live
In the Weasley’s garden
You know it is really our home
And you know we
Are the most awesome
Because we are
The lovely gnomes, gnomes, gnomes, gnomes, gnomesgnomesgnomesgnomesgnomes
Don’t you hurry
Don’t don’t you scurry
When the Weasleys come come to throw
Because you know
You will be flyin’ (and fryin’!)
Over the the trees
To the hills belooowwwwww
I don’t like tutus!!!
Don’t put me on the treeeee!
Those are my carrots!
Give ‘em back to me!
You Weasleys suck!
And you don’t know me!
If you don’t let me down now
I’m going to screeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmm
[extremely wacky & silly scatting/gibberish]
Tiptoe through the garden
Stay away from the Whomping Willow tree
And tiptoe through the tulips with meeee
Oh Weasleys,
Don’t de-gnome me
If you see me, won’t you pardon me?
And tiptoe through the tulips—
Oy! Hey! Lemme go! I was in the middle of my song!
GEROFF ME!!! GEROFF ME!!!
[being thrown] Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!
Wow, Harry! That must have been 50 feet!
Ow, they bit me! I FEEL THE URGE TO DECLAIM IN MERMISH
[cue unholy screeching]
This song is brought to you by Nermal’s Gnome-Away. Buy Nermal’s Gnome-Away for all your de-gnoming gneeds. And if you listened all the way to the end of this track, go fuck yourself. Unless you’re ace. In which case, just read a book you don’t like or something, I don’t care.
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