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ERWA – The Lost Buttock

from How Weird Can You Get? by Bisexual Harry

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lyrics

Moody was a famous Auror,
But it ended in a farce.
Stuck a wand into his pocket,
And Moody blasted off his own arse.

CHORUS

He lost a buttock and it left him,
To reunite it wasn’t inclined.
The buttock: it found adventure,
And Alastor was left behind.

He tracked it out to San Francisco,
And trailed it down to Half-Moon Bay,
But it became a pirate booty –
It jumped a ship and sailed away.

CHORUS

He followed it to New York City
Where it starred a one-buttock show.
Performances were standing-room only,
And it sold out 54 Below.

CHORUS

He found that smart ass went to grad school
Where it published a review on trends
In the An(n)als of Statistics
On how the means justify the ends.

CHORUS

He gave up when it wrote a memoir
It called “Le derrière perdu,”
“A semi-callipygian scorcher,
and quite a cracking read, too!”

CHORUS

And now you know how Moody’s buttock
Escaped its unassuming start.
The Healers helped him grow a new one,
But the buttock helped him find his heart.

You lose a buttock? Think of Moody,
Consider this before you seek:
The buttock if it’s thriving
Maybe turn the other cheek. (x4)

credits

from How Weird Can You Get?, released April 2, 2023
Jeff Smith, Alto Sax
Karaoke track by Stingray Karaoke
A parody of "Fever" (Cooley & Blackwell) as performed by Peggy Lee

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Bisexual Harry Milwaukee, Wisconsin

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